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The Growing Trend – As We Age

Finisher Walking Confidently

We all get older.  We all have to come face to face with the reality of aging.  My wife recently was blessed with being firmly planted into her 30’s, and I am rapidly approaching 40.  Our health must remain a priority as we age.

There is a trend among those that I follow for inspiration…they are getting older too.  Every day, I still receive their emails newsletters talking about training like a savage or training like a Spartan.  BUT there usually is a little more that is revealed in the text of their message.  For most of them, and as I continue to learn, the definition of what it means to train like a savage has changed.

As we age, we learn that there are two keys to training successfully –

  1. A Strong Mental Game
  2. Smarter Programming
    1. Training for a Goal

And that is the reality that we deal with.  As we age, it is our mental strength that is more important than ever.  We have kids, real jobs with real demands and any number of other things that will push us away from training.  It will push us towards complacency.  We have a culture that rewards and celebrates ease.  Jobs keep us indoors more and more often.

It is easy to stop challenging activities and harder and harder to start them.  We only see the mountain and believe the little voice that says…you don’t even know where to start when it comes to climbing.  So we stop or don’t even start.

We accept the lie that is our own inadequacy.

The little voice wins!

And so I challenge you to silence the little voice.  Just start and commit to starting every day.  Commit to pushing through the mental challenge that says it is easier to stay the same than it is to change. Commit daily and just commit for that one day.  Don’t promise to give up sugar for a month when one day is a big enough challenge.  Give it up – one day at a time.

You build muscle one rep at a time and will power one decision at a time.

And that points to the second challenge of getting older.  We cannot train like we used to.  We used to see something and say…that looks fun…let’s destroy ourselves.  300 burpees for time, followed by 20 rep max back squat – Let’s go.

And now we look at that and realize, there is no logic to that.  There is no benefit to our health and growth.  We accept and know that we must train smart so that we can continue to function for those that need us.  We have to train smarter and understand what the goals of our programming are.

It is why the role of your coach is critical.  They are not there to destroy you, they are there to build you into what you want to be.  Coaches are not demolition crews, we are construction workers and project managers.  We have to understand what our client’s goals and desires are and then, starting with the foundation, build it.

If we fail to do this, we can and will destroy all that they are doing to be mentally tough.  It is on both of us to create and build success.  I am willing to do my part, are you?

I’m Not the Expert…I Just Care! Keys to Success

One of the things that you see all over the place as you explore how to be a success in any field is the idea that you have to insert yourself as being the expert in the field.  I work with IT for a large university, mentor small businesses, and in the fitness field as a personal trainer.  I am constantly growing and learning in all areas of relevance so that I can be the best that I can be.

If you are looking to grow your name at a break-neck pace, then inserting yourself as “the expert” might be the way to go.  But you might also be proven to be just another person claiming to know more than they actually do.

One of the things that I emphasize is to provide the most value and knowledge to the people that trust you.  I encourage people to approach their business how they would want to be treated by the companies they choose to work for.  Don’t be like the cable companies and telephone companies setting up deals to get people to switch to you.  Take care of the people that have been with you and reward longevity.

The same holds true with being an expert.  Focus on becoming an expert in your one-on-one relationships.  Focus on providing the value to the people who already have chosen you.  Constantly grow in the areas that they need to develop.  Most of the people that you work with are going to have very specific needs to reach their goals.  Increase your value to them, by focusing your talents and efforts on making sure they know that their areas of concern are the very issues that you are devoting yourself to growing.

Let them know that your goal is to stay on top of the latest trends that will help them with their specific needs.  For example, if someone is looking for a coach or trainer.  I like to sit down with them and ask about what their goals are.  From there, I will talk to them about setting up a basic program for their general health and well-being.  From there, I take pre-existing knowledge and incorporate it into their training to meet their specific goals and explain exactly why I am introducing and training them the way that I do.  The next step is to grow my knowledge base in the areas of helping them and sharing that knowledge with them.

I am not the expert in my space, but I am the expert of my people.  If you want to be successful, you have to give people a reason to stay with you.  That generally comes not from how much you know, but in how you develop your knowledge and make it personal to them.

I see too many people that want to be the expert and expect to have huge client basis just because they have inserted themselves as an expert.  For me, that is not the best path.  If you only have one client, be an expert on their business and their needs.  Give them a reason to talk about you and refer you to others.  Your business will grow if you devote your time to the needs of your clients first and foremost.  They are telling you what is and is not important to know about.  Focus on them, they are the one’s that need your services…and they need it now!

 

003 – Faith Workout – Indeed in Our Hearts We Feel the Sentence of Death

Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. (2 Corinthians 1:9, ESV)

This one is out early this week.  I did not get it up yesterday, sorry, but it was a long day.  But that being said, it reinforced the need for what I wanted to share this week.  In continuing to grow off of the post from last week asking you to live an authentic faith this week…I was forced into being reminded of my favorite verse.  That is the one at the top from 2 Corinthians.

My favorite book of the Bible… Job!

There is a pattern to what stands out to me and what I empathize with.  What always strikes me and resonates with me are the following:

  1. There will be dark days.
  2. We have those to increase our faith and dependence on Christ, not to pull us away from it

As you go through this week and focus on living out your authentic faith, please include in that some reflection the dark days and times that you have been through.  How did you respond to those times and those struggles?

 

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Did you doubt Christ was there?  Did you cling harder to the cross?  Did you pray more, less?  Did you pray at all?

When I examine life, it is pretty safe to say that we are all just like the disciples in any telling of Jesus calming the sea.  We are the disciples and we are the sea.

We fall into a trap of thinking that just because we do not see Jesus moving and working that He is not protecting, providing and delivering us to safety.  We forget that He is in the boat and so when the wind and the waves and the storms of life attack, we pay more attention to them than the fact that we have Christ with us.

In Mark’s telling of this story, the following is said:

He said to them, “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?” (Mark 4:40)

And this is each and every one of us…daily.  We see the storms, that chaos, the confusion and we get afraid and lose faith.

We do not have to run down below and wake Jesus up from his sleep, we have to remember that He is in the boat.  That He controls the wind and the waves and they will be calmed when the time is right.  We need to stop focusing on the storm and take refuge in the one who can calm the storm.

But we don’t.  When there are dark days and rough times, we immediately go to a place of how can I fix this, what did I do to be in this position, or why is God punishing me?  When a lot of the time, it’s not about fixing, it’s not about what you did, and it is not punishment.  It is a call to trust, a call to cling to the one who raises the dead.

Dark days will happen.  Some days will be darker than others, but as we go through them and face them…we must trust that Christ will calm to storm and be drawn closer to Him.  The seas will calm, and we will make it to the other side.

 

How Will You Succeed?

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In the last post, I shared about how “what-if” never enters the arena, so I hope you are taking the steps necessary to step into the arena and face some demons, slay some dragons, fight?

I hope that you are not staying out in the world of what-ifs that someday become might have been’s and eventually regrets.  If the only thing that is holding you back from taking on a new challenge is the ever-present scary question of:

How will I succeed?

Then let’s find an answer together.  I get it, we are a society that is built upon the idea that if we try something we have to be able to guarantee our own success.  If we are going to do something, we have to know deep down that we WILL be successful.   It’s why we start our to-do lists with items that we have already accomplished for the day.

  • Get Out of Bed
  • Drink Coffee
  • Feed Kids

They are there already.  We set ourselves up to succeed or, at least, have something on the list that we can cross off before we have really done anything.  I do not know what huge task is out there looming on the horizon for you, but I can bet with relative certainty that your definition of success is grand.  Your definition of success probably has huge dollar signs or changes to humanity…or maybe that is just me.  I can accept that.

But if you truly want to guarantee your success, you just have to keep caring, keep moving, keep pushing, and keep learning.  If you, as an individual, are no longer growing and learning, then you are failing.  Your business could be thriving, your deadlift could continue to get bigger and bigger, but are you really succeeding?  Do you even care anymore?

For me, that is where success comes from.  I will continue to write these posts, film my tips and tricks in business and the gym, function as a personal trainer, do it all until I just don’t care anymore.  If I ever get to the point where it doesn’t bother me that I only got one post up this week.  If I ever get to the point where I celebrate my clients failure to show up to train with me, I will shut down the site…close the garage and be done.  How do we guarantee success is

How do we guarantee success in our endeavors, we constantly care about them.  We invest in them.  We find fulfillment in the small steps, not solely based on the end target.  We find that success is the continual investment in the process to become something more.  Success is every moment you say “yes” to your dream and to caring about it.

And sometimes success is accepting the stepbacks and failures that come, but learning from them and coming back stronger.  It might mean a PR is missed or the business doors close for a little while, but we don’t stop.  The scale and BMI might go up, but we show up again the next day, ready to go!  We don’t stop.

Success is the journey…and we guarantee that success, but accepting the detours, making our own paths sometimes, accepting that we might be lost, not know where we are going, and all alone at times, but we keep going.

“What If” Never Entered the Arena

Today, I needed that extra little shot in the arm that we call motivation.  There was a video that had been passed along to me, so I went ahead and gave it a watch…If you are so inclined you can watch it here:

I hope you stuck around to read a little more…if not, I understand.  I was motivated after watching it.  As I watched it there was a single line that struck a chord with me:

What if never entered the arena

That phrase…”What if?” gets us nowhere.  It only leads to regrets.  It seldom leads us to a truth.  It leads to a lot of false beliefs about ourselves and who we could have been.

Entering the ring, succeeding or failing, reveals the truth.  Entering the ring and trying teaches us the sometimes harsh and often times rewarding reality about what exactly we are capable of.

The fight is the lesson.

Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose, but we always learn about who we are.  We learn about the pain we can endure, the challenges we can overcome and the areas that we must improve.

What if I go up in weight on the barbell?  Forget the what if…Go up in weight on the barbell!

What if I start a new business?  Forget that…start it!

What if I fail as a writer?  Fail as a writer, put yourself out there.  Someone, even in your failure, needs to hear what you have to say.  Someone needs to know that they are not the only one scared but enter the arena anyway.

Stop waiting for the perfect time.  If you have the dream, take a chance…risk failure, and stop being afraid of your own success!

So please, do me a favor…starting Monday…live a week with no what if’s.  Decide and commit!  No what if’s…succeed, fail…learn…grow!

I’m Batman…So What?!?!

In my house, my kids know that I love Batman.  They even call me Batman, my wife is Wonder Woman; one daughter is Super Girl, and the other is Batgirl.  We live it up.  We laugh and chase bad guys around the house.  We live our superhero lives.

What is your superhero identity?

Don’t be afraid to be a superhero.  Embrace it!

What’s wrong with it?

What’s wrong with your wife and kids wanting to see you that way?  Believing and knowing that you are going to do your best to protect them.

What’s wrong with your kids wanting to be superheroes?  Wanting to help others, and make the world a better place?

What’s wrong with being a family of superheroes?  Believing the best about each other and wanting to live life to the fullest.

Don’t be afraid of tapping into your inner superhero.  Once you accept that you have an inner strength that is more powerful than the doubters and the haters…you can find freedom.  Once you accept that there is a hero inside of you, then maybe you won’t be afraid to slowly let the world see that person, the real you!

Follow your passions and your dreams and find that inner strength to push beyond the challenges that we put on ourselves in the name of fitting in!  Forget fitting in, leaders don’t fit in!  They stand out..they set the standard and the others see something different in them.

So I ask you again…what’s your superhero identity?

You’re Never Too Out of Shape To Move!

Some call me a coach, some a trainer, some a fitness enthusiast, others just an all around good guy…well maybe not always that last one, but I try.

People will come by the garage gym and see the barbells, weights, box jumps, bike, rower, atlas stones and other tools, and I can immediately see it on their faces…this is scary!  They see a pull-up bar and some gymnastic rings and want to ask if those are for hanging my laundry on when it needs to dry.  There is this intimidation factor about seeing many of these things.

Maybe it’s the fact that most of the time that a company advertises fitness or fitness products, it looks as if the person using them is a Greek god or goddess.  The person using them looks like they don’t need them anymore.  They look as if they have become the perpetual after picture and the “before” picture has been wiped from the planet.

They are too afraid to even enter into a discussion on fitness and goals.  They are already scared and believe that they will never get there.

That is exactly why you need to talk to me (or any other coach for that matter).  Our job is not, despite the rumors, to kill you.  It is not our job to make you throw up and turn you into a pile of fitness hatred on the floor.

It is our job to get you from point A to point B…to C…etc.

And so I sit and wait for you to say it…”I need to get in shape before I start this…give me a month, 6 weeks, 6 months, a year.”

You are never too out of shape to move.

And that’s all you need to do in order to start.

Can you walk 20m?  Great…we are going to do just that for a week.  Maybe if you are feeling good, we will do it 3 times.

Can you walk 200m?  Good deal…let’s do that as well.

What about sitting in a chair and getting out of it?  We have a starting point.

The truth is that if you wait until you feel “fit enough” to start, you will not start.

The truth is that you need someone that believes in you…because right now, you just don’t know what the first step is.

You need someone who is not just a friend that will let you say, how about tomorrow…what you need is someone who says…I’m going to be there…you better show up to.

You are never too out of shape to take that first step…then we will worry about the second!

The Motivation to Change

I was doing ok.

I coached my 4 nights a week of classes.

I managed a gym.

I tucked my kids in at night.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

I walked away.

Why?

What motivates us to make changes in our lives?  What is “motivation”?

Motivation is the drive and belief that we can do better!

It is the notion that we have more to give, whether it is in something as simple as a workout or in life.  I love seeking out motivators.  I love going on a quest for people that aren’t afraid to get in your face and scream “You’re holding back!  Stop it!  You have more in you!”  And more importantly, they believe that whatever more you have to give benefits the world.

And so what motivated me, was that little voice that said you are being held back, you love it, but you can give more.

Give more to your wife.

Give more to your daughters.

Give more to your readers.

Give more to the world.

If you just let go…so I did.

It hurt and still hurts on days when I drive by the gym.  I think of it as MY gym, but it isn’t.  I did not own it, I managed it as best as I could for years.  I poured my heart and soul into running the classes I did.  I was the every-man coach.  No athletic background, but an eye for detail and a quest for knowledge and wanting to get better.  But at the end of the day, it still wasn’t mine, it was just a part of me.

It still motivates me to know that it is out there and think about the athletes there.  I love them…and they better know it!

But with the change, I was given the opportunity to give more to those I train as well.  I got smaller.  I train out of my garage with a simple philosophy…

One Athlete, One Goal, One Success

I have been able to truly focus on the different things that every athlete is looking for and wanting out of their training.  Want general health…I can do that.  Want to get bigger numbers on the lifts…got you covered too.  Just want to work on those Olympic lifts…Let’s get it.

So I am motivated by the dream of helping someone change in the ways that they want to.  I get to be the voice in their head that says “You can do more!  You have more in the tank!”

And that voice hopefully pushes them to make the hard decisions, knowing it will make them better, and able to give more!

2016 – Lesson One – Challenge One!

As this new year kicks off and really starts rolling, I think that I can start with a little piece of advice for you.  This has absolutely nothing to do with getting a bigger squat or losing 40 pounds and in the same instant, it has everything to do with those very things.  It has to do with everything that you will come up against in life.

It is not mind-blowing or mind-boggling, it is just something that we often neglect as we go through our day-to-day lives and our existence.  Most of us strive to be the best at whatever we do.  We want to be the best husband, the best wife, the best parent, the best friend, the best whatever…and in that struggle to be the best, we fail.  We fall short of the ideal.  We give into the FaceBook fantasies that someone out there is better at life than we are.  We see successes all around us, and feel the burden and pressure of not living up to someone else’s ideals or not doing everything that we should (or maybe even could) have done.

So for the next year, I challenge you to learn about yourself.  I encourage everyone to take a little bit of time and figure out what is really going on underneath your own hood.  Learn about what makes you tick.  Not just what makes you upset, but why you are upset.  What really sets you off?  What really gets you going?  What are the key pieces that have been there when you have succeeded and what about when you have failed?  And then not be afraid to share that with others.  Share that with the people in your life.

Don’t react in rough situations, understand why you react and let the other parties know what the truth is.  I know from personal experience that I often live in the “you should just know” world.  Far too often, we are afraid to speak up and tell someone what is going on with us and we harbor it.  And bigger than that, we don’t even know what caused us to be mad or upset.  We just know that “THEY” did something…but we reacted.  We control that reaction and we control how we behave in a situation.

So if you are making goals for this year, take a little time and learn about yourself.  You are probably doing better than you think. You are probably a better spouse, parent, sibling and friend than you give yourself credit for.

yoda...there is no try

Year in Review – What’s Coming in 2016

I am a day or so late in getting this one out, but the extra day of reflection was good for me.  I took a little more time and spent it with some loved ones.  I took my daughter to a movie and spent most of the day reflecting on just what the past year was all about.

I will not call it a bad year, nor will I call it a good year.  I will leave it at being a learning year.  It was a year when I look back, it is easy to point out the hard moments and several moments I wish would have been different.  I find many moments that need to have their endings re-written, but then the lessons would have remained locked away with the pain.  Stories that end up perfectly, do not teach us the hard lessons and those had to be learned.

So as I look back on the past year, it is a year of stepd being taken so that I can become more and more the man that I want to be.  It was a year where decisions were made that allowed me to grow into the father, husband,friend, and coach that I want to be.

I attended a few too many funerals for those lost all of a sudden, but I learned how to open up my heart to those that were mourning.  I learned the power of a hug when it is needed and wanted.  I learned the value of laughter in mourning.  I learned what it means to sit in the silence of the ashes and just know that I want to be a part of the healing process.  In these moments of sudden loss, I witnessed true strength.  The kind that you cannot develop on a barbell, but only through the will to stick with someone when their life gets rough.

I walked away from some of my safe places in the hopes of learning more by living in some chaos.  I took that steps to try and live a larger purpose more committed to the ones I love, including myself.  I stepped out of some safety and put some burdens on the ground so that I can grow.  It will always be a bittersweet moment, but I know that I left my mark in those safe places and it is time for them and me to move on to new challenges and new adventures.

And through all the rough pathches, there has been growth.  There has been a growth of internal strength and will.  It has helped me to know that sometimes, it hurts, but you cannot stop and other times, you have to stop because the pain will just be too much to continue on.

And there have been gorious moments.  Moments where you know that you were put on this planet for this moment and to meet certain people.  There were days where I introduced people to my love of the barbell, the kettlebell and the odd object.  I attended several certifications that helped me to learn that it is ok to be different.  Just be you, do what you love and let the chips fall where they fall.  Do you!

I fell in love with the puzzle that is small business.  I rekindled my passion with writing and let those things come together and start to form something unique that is leading into the new year.  I am excited about the risks and challenges that are coming in the new year…what does the new year look like?

No idea, but my eyes, ears and heart are open for whatever is thrown my way!