You’re Never Too Out of Shape To Move!

Some call me a coach, some a trainer, some a fitness enthusiast, others just an all around good guy…well maybe not always that last one, but I try.

People will come by the garage gym and see the barbells, weights, box jumps, bike, rower, atlas stones and other tools, and I can immediately see it on their faces…this is scary!  They see a pull-up bar and some gymnastic rings and want to ask if those are for hanging my laundry on when it needs to dry.  There is this intimidation factor about seeing many of these things.

Maybe it’s the fact that most of the time that a company advertises fitness or fitness products, it looks as if the person using them is a Greek god or goddess.  The person using them looks like they don’t need them anymore.  They look as if they have become the perpetual after picture and the “before” picture has been wiped from the planet.

They are too afraid to even enter into a discussion on fitness and goals.  They are already scared and believe that they will never get there.

That is exactly why you need to talk to me (or any other coach for that matter).  Our job is not, despite the rumors, to kill you.  It is not our job to make you throw up and turn you into a pile of fitness hatred on the floor.

It is our job to get you from point A to point B…to C…etc.

And so I sit and wait for you to say it…”I need to get in shape before I start this…give me a month, 6 weeks, 6 months, a year.”

You are never too out of shape to move.

And that’s all you need to do in order to start.

Can you walk 20m?  Great…we are going to do just that for a week.  Maybe if you are feeling good, we will do it 3 times.

Can you walk 200m?  Good deal…let’s do that as well.

What about sitting in a chair and getting out of it?  We have a starting point.

The truth is that if you wait until you feel “fit enough” to start, you will not start.

The truth is that you need someone that believes in you…because right now, you just don’t know what the first step is.

You need someone who is not just a friend that will let you say, how about tomorrow…what you need is someone who says…I’m going to be there…you better show up to.

You are never too out of shape to take that first step…then we will worry about the second!

Coaches Are Everywhere! Are You Coachable?

This might turn into a rant, but I will try to keep it pretty low key.  Everyone out there that has found this blog or any other blog out there that they use for motivation wants to be better.  They want to get better in all areas of life.  They are seeking out some sort of motivation or lessons that click with them and help them to grow.

That is cool.  I get it.  I am glad you stumbled onto this site and hope that in some way, I can help you out.  I am a pretty open book.  With that being said, we all have to be better about being coachable.  We all have to stop thinking that we know everything there is to know about life.  I watch my various feeds on social media, people watch, and look around with an open mind as often as I can…and fail a lot to keep it that way…and see that we all are really good at giving advice, but really bad at taking good, quality, corrective criticism.

We will look around and acknowledge that the world needs to be more accepting, grow up, change, but we seldom look in  the mirror and really accept the truth that some of that change has to start with us.  We have to be open to being wrong.  We have to be open up to the truth that we all have dark spots and skeletons in closets that we want to ignore.  We have to be willing to ask those closest to us for advice on what we need to work on and not react when they are honest.  If they are speaking the truth, and we usually know when they are, we have to accept that.

We do not get bent out of shape when our trainer or coach in the gym tells us we are not keeping our back tight on a deadlift, or makes us watch a video or our bad technique on the clean.  Truth be told, we get mad when they let us continue to lift without saying something, but when it comes to who we are as people, that is a no-fly zone.  It is a zone that we protect and guard and wonder why relationships start to falter and live gets chaotic.

I know this reality all too well.  I am one of the best at building walls around my life.  I am one of the best with the excuse “I’m doing the best I can”…and that is an excuse for me a lot.  It is another way of saying, “leave me alone…accept me for who I am.”  And I get that, but I have recently learned that trusting someone to be real with me is about them not accepting anything less than what I CAN be.  The advice and criticism they give me are not because they do not love me, but rather it is about the reality that they do love me and know that I can be more.  When I open myself up to the critique, like with my lifts, I am only setting myself up to be better and get better.

So my challenge in the new year is to accept the criticism as they come…listen, learn and grow. Here’s to making this world a better place, starting with me.

The Motivation to Change

I was doing ok.

I coached my 4 nights a week of classes.

I managed a gym.

I tucked my kids in at night.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

I walked away.

Why?

What motivates us to make changes in our lives?  What is “motivation”?

Motivation is the drive and belief that we can do better!

It is the notion that we have more to give, whether it is in something as simple as a workout or in life.  I love seeking out motivators.  I love going on a quest for people that aren’t afraid to get in your face and scream “You’re holding back!  Stop it!  You have more in you!”  And more importantly, they believe that whatever more you have to give benefits the world.

And so what motivated me, was that little voice that said you are being held back, you love it, but you can give more.

Give more to your wife.

Give more to your daughters.

Give more to your readers.

Give more to the world.

If you just let go…so I did.

It hurt and still hurts on days when I drive by the gym.  I think of it as MY gym, but it isn’t.  I did not own it, I managed it as best as I could for years.  I poured my heart and soul into running the classes I did.  I was the every-man coach.  No athletic background, but an eye for detail and a quest for knowledge and wanting to get better.  But at the end of the day, it still wasn’t mine, it was just a part of me.

It still motivates me to know that it is out there and think about the athletes there.  I love them…and they better know it!

But with the change, I was given the opportunity to give more to those I train as well.  I got smaller.  I train out of my garage with a simple philosophy…

One Athlete, One Goal, One Success

I have been able to truly focus on the different things that every athlete is looking for and wanting out of their training.  Want general health…I can do that.  Want to get bigger numbers on the lifts…got you covered too.  Just want to work on those Olympic lifts…Let’s get it.

So I am motivated by the dream of helping someone change in the ways that they want to.  I get to be the voice in their head that says “You can do more!  You have more in the tank!”

And that voice hopefully pushes them to make the hard decisions, knowing it will make them better, and able to give more!

2016 – Lesson One – Challenge One!

As this new year kicks off and really starts rolling, I think that I can start with a little piece of advice for you.  This has absolutely nothing to do with getting a bigger squat or losing 40 pounds and in the same instant, it has everything to do with those very things.  It has to do with everything that you will come up against in life.

It is not mind-blowing or mind-boggling, it is just something that we often neglect as we go through our day-to-day lives and our existence.  Most of us strive to be the best at whatever we do.  We want to be the best husband, the best wife, the best parent, the best friend, the best whatever…and in that struggle to be the best, we fail.  We fall short of the ideal.  We give into the FaceBook fantasies that someone out there is better at life than we are.  We see successes all around us, and feel the burden and pressure of not living up to someone else’s ideals or not doing everything that we should (or maybe even could) have done.

So for the next year, I challenge you to learn about yourself.  I encourage everyone to take a little bit of time and figure out what is really going on underneath your own hood.  Learn about what makes you tick.  Not just what makes you upset, but why you are upset.  What really sets you off?  What really gets you going?  What are the key pieces that have been there when you have succeeded and what about when you have failed?  And then not be afraid to share that with others.  Share that with the people in your life.

Don’t react in rough situations, understand why you react and let the other parties know what the truth is.  I know from personal experience that I often live in the “you should just know” world.  Far too often, we are afraid to speak up and tell someone what is going on with us and we harbor it.  And bigger than that, we don’t even know what caused us to be mad or upset.  We just know that “THEY” did something…but we reacted.  We control that reaction and we control how we behave in a situation.

So if you are making goals for this year, take a little time and learn about yourself.  You are probably doing better than you think. You are probably a better spouse, parent, sibling and friend than you give yourself credit for.

yoda...there is no try

Year in Review – What’s Coming in 2016

I am a day or so late in getting this one out, but the extra day of reflection was good for me.  I took a little more time and spent it with some loved ones.  I took my daughter to a movie and spent most of the day reflecting on just what the past year was all about.

I will not call it a bad year, nor will I call it a good year.  I will leave it at being a learning year.  It was a year when I look back, it is easy to point out the hard moments and several moments I wish would have been different.  I find many moments that need to have their endings re-written, but then the lessons would have remained locked away with the pain.  Stories that end up perfectly, do not teach us the hard lessons and those had to be learned.

So as I look back on the past year, it is a year of stepd being taken so that I can become more and more the man that I want to be.  It was a year where decisions were made that allowed me to grow into the father, husband,friend, and coach that I want to be.

I attended a few too many funerals for those lost all of a sudden, but I learned how to open up my heart to those that were mourning.  I learned the power of a hug when it is needed and wanted.  I learned the value of laughter in mourning.  I learned what it means to sit in the silence of the ashes and just know that I want to be a part of the healing process.  In these moments of sudden loss, I witnessed true strength.  The kind that you cannot develop on a barbell, but only through the will to stick with someone when their life gets rough.

I walked away from some of my safe places in the hopes of learning more by living in some chaos.  I took that steps to try and live a larger purpose more committed to the ones I love, including myself.  I stepped out of some safety and put some burdens on the ground so that I can grow.  It will always be a bittersweet moment, but I know that I left my mark in those safe places and it is time for them and me to move on to new challenges and new adventures.

And through all the rough pathches, there has been growth.  There has been a growth of internal strength and will.  It has helped me to know that sometimes, it hurts, but you cannot stop and other times, you have to stop because the pain will just be too much to continue on.

And there have been gorious moments.  Moments where you know that you were put on this planet for this moment and to meet certain people.  There were days where I introduced people to my love of the barbell, the kettlebell and the odd object.  I attended several certifications that helped me to learn that it is ok to be different.  Just be you, do what you love and let the chips fall where they fall.  Do you!

I fell in love with the puzzle that is small business.  I rekindled my passion with writing and let those things come together and start to form something unique that is leading into the new year.  I am excited about the risks and challenges that are coming in the new year…what does the new year look like?

No idea, but my eyes, ears and heart are open for whatever is thrown my way!

Goal Prep Wrap-up

We are approaching the end of this years look at goal setting and prepping for the new year.  If you have not done so, take a minute and read part I and part II of this series.  After reading and putting the steps into practice, you should have a nice new goals journal with a few pages filled and a refined set of goals for the near, long and in between terms.  There really is only one step left before you go out and actually attack those goals.

Make a plan for success for each goal

Of all the steps this will be the most critical for you to actually achieve your goals.  Look at each of the goals that you have and put down the actionable steps that you need to be successful.  For some of the goals, it might be as simple as going to a website and filling out a form or putting a note up on Social Media about what you are looking for.  Other goals will have several larger steps that need to be broken down.

What I am saying is nothing new, and most people just need to hear it again or be reminded.  The trick that I would add to the equation is to add in steps for if you fail at some point.  Decide what you are going to do or how you are going to handle rough spots now.  If one of your goals is to clean up your diet, how are you going to build in points to diverge?  How are you going to handle ice cream movie nights?  Build in a plan, that allows you freedom to stumble, so that you do not feel that you have failed.

A simple but effective example that I have seen, using diet as an example, is that there are no rules on special occasions.  If invited and attending a wedding or other special event, those are the nights that you can enjoy whatever you want.  Sorry, but a simple date night, usually does not count.  But having a plan sets you up for more success that just trying to will your way to victory.

So there you have it, the beginning of your goal journal has some writing on it is started.  Now you have all the pages left in the journal for your journey.  Use those pages for whatever you want to as you travel down your path.  Write about your successes and your struggles.  Track your progress, write what inspires you.  Share with yourself what works for you and what doesn’t.  No matter how many of the goals you cross off the list you started with, you will learn about yourself and that will set you up for success for far longer than just one year!

Keep On Progressing…Goals Refinement!

So here we are…back again!  Refining our goal setting and goal keeping process.  In the last post, I asked you to do some very basic (not easy) things:

  • Buy a new Journal
  • Figure out how you tick (what do you need to make successful habits)
  • Write out your goals
  • Break them down into three categories (short-term, medium-term, long-term)

So what do we do now?  I have the goals, I just start working really hard to keep them, right?

Nope.

I want you to look at those goals that you have and the breakdown is not important right this instant, but it does give you a rough deadline for completion and if you are like me, that is important.  The deadline is important.

The next thing that I want you to do is to begin to utilize the other pages in your new journal and look at your list and figure out the “why” behind each and every goal that you have.  What you are doing is taking a minute to decide what is motivating you to want that goal to happen.  Are you really even doing it for yourself, or do you just think someone else will be happy if you do it?

As you work through your list, you want your goals to have personal value.  If something is written down, just for the sake of writing down or it sounds good to have it on the list, but it means nothing to you, failure is the most likely outcome.  You have to make sure that the goal actually adds meaning to your life.

A common goal is to work out more.  Gyms love the start of the new year, but they cannot make you show up.  Why do you want to work out more?  Maybe you want to play more with your kids, your grandkids, take your dog on more walks, look better in a swimsuit, make the neighbors jealous.  I don’t know your answer, but you need to have a reason.

If you cannot come up with a SOLID why for a goal, remove it from your list.  If your goal is only on there because someone else wants it for you or from you, remove it.  The goal must carry some value to you.

If your only motivation for working out more is because my husband or wife wants me to or thinks I should or it sounds good…mark it off.  Get rid of it.  You don’t really want it.

This is a difficult step and a challenge because it means the list might change.  You have to be real with yourself.  Do not search for reasons…follow your gut on this one and shoot from the hip.  If you do not feel a reason hit you quick…delete the item.  You can always re-add it later…when it has more value.

So that’s all I got today…figure out the why!

Turn the page and start figuring it out!

 

Start with a Clean Slate…Goals in the New Year

I write something about goals every year.  Like most people, I see the start of the new year as one of those rare chances to have a clean slate.  That is to say, when the year ticks over to read 2016, I can safely say…

I haven’t messed up this year

And it’s not a lie.  It is not a false statement but rather a challenge to see how long I can maintain that status.  I have learned over the past year one big thing, and that is, that in order to have a strong and successful 2016, I need to prepare for it starting now.  I actually need to start cleaning the slate now.

So how are you going to get prepared for the changes that you want to make in the new year?

First and foremost, I recommend that you go out and buy a journal that is devoted specifically to your goals and the process you are taking to achieve them.  In fact, I recommend you buy a nice journal for this purpose, think of it as investing in your own success.

New journal = New Opportunities.

The second thing that I will recommend is to take a little time getting to know how you tick.  What motivates you, what leads you on a path to success and what doesn’t?  If you are someone like me, then you are going to need to figure out how to build accountability into your goals.  Based on the work of Gretchen Rubin, I am probably a pretty solid “Obliger”.  That simply means that I am more likely to succeed when someone else is counting on me.  I work best with deadlines and clear expectations. If you want to know more about her Four Tendencies, take the quiz or buy the book. (I bought the book on iTunes and listened to it.)

For example, knowing that I am an Obliger, I now post my workouts to my followers in the morning with a statement that I will post my results after I complete it.  I have created a system when I am accountable to them.  If I did not do this, I probably would not work out or I am more prone to allow someone else’s problem cause me to push back my workout.  You can get this same accountability simply by joining a gym with a friend and committing to meet there at the same time.

The biggest thing though is to start taking a little time to know what will most likely make you successful.  Once you know a little bit about how you tick and how you react in situations, you can move into the next phase of breaking the goals down.

I recommend that you take the time to break your goals down into short term, medium term and long term goals. It is a simple method to measure success and accept that changes and accept that success does not happen overnight.  That is a really good start to your goal writing process.  There are several more steps that I recommend, but I will save those until tomorrow.  For now…take the time to:

  • Buy a new Journal
  • Figure out how you tick (what do you need to make successful habits)
  • Write out your goals
  • Break them down into three categories (short-term, medium-term, long-term)

And if you need help…ask!

When Letting Go is Good…Business Basic

It has been a while since I wrote something that is 100% solely focused on running a business.  This tidbit of advice is like many things, powerful, simple but not easy.  It is my attempt to pull in the advice of several of my mentors, Zach Even-Esh, Seth Godin, Gary Vaynerchuk, and Bob Burg and John David Mann.  

This piece of advice is simple.

If you want to succeed you have to help people find the right product, even if it is not yours!

The first part of that is pretty straight forward.  And most people would stand up and say…I do that.  I help people find the right product.  Most people chase customers and try to find new and creative ways to get them into their doors.  But most of us tend to live in the delusion that our product is the best and that it meets the needs of all people.  That if we can “sell” them on us, then we are good to go.  We live in the world that a sale is a sale is a sale and we need lots of sales.  But do we really?

All of the people listed above will talk about things such as finding your niche, finding your tribe, building your brand and identity, and providing more value to your customers experience and they all fit together into a nice, neat package that includes being willing to direct your customer to someone else.

Why would anyone say no to a sale?

That is the ultimate question, right?  We all have bills to pay, employees to pay and lights to keep on.  Why in the world would I want to turn someone away?  The answer is that by simply selling to them, you are not selling your true product and they are not getting what they are looking for.  As Seth Godin would say, you are trying to pull someone from another tribe into yours.  This will not end well for you.

If you promise a product that does X, Y, and Z and cannot deliver, guess what your reviews will look like?  What do you think that customer is going to tell their friends about your product or services?  How many people will you lose because you tried to fit that square peg into your round hole?

And from the other angle?

Let’s say you direct that customer to a product that is exactly what they are looking for, how are you viewed?  If you asked that customer for a simple review, don’t you think that they would give you glowing praise because you cared?  What do you think happens when their friends ask them about your business?

Their response, hopefully, transitions from one of, “they told me they did this; but lied” to one of “they were honest with me that their product wasn’t the best for my needs, but cared enough to help me out.  They might be a good fit for you.”  You are still getting positive feedback in spite of not making a sale.  The image and perception of your business is one of caring and not one of making the sell at any cost.

It is hard, though.  It is hard to not get caught up in the quest to make the sell because we all see the looming bills and challenges, but I challenge you to make sure you are growing your tribe the right way.  I encourage you to be willing to say no and help people find the best product for their needs.  I encourage you not to change your standards in order to make a sell.

Care about the customer and sometimes, that means letting the sale go.

#WatchThis

I am a fan of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and goal setting.  I have recently been taking the time to teach the 7 Habits informally to some friends and am willing to do it to anyone that is interested in it.  One of the habits that they talk about is defining a personal mission statement.  As I was discussing this with my group, one of them put me on the spot and asked if I would share mine.

Out of a knee-jerk, quick-witted response, I said:

Watch This!

That was it.  Two words, but then I stepped back and realized that it was actually a fairly, short, sweet, honest and true statement.  For me, that is my personal mission statement for the upcoming year.  It will be simple and follow me around.  #WatchThis.

It is not a statement out of arrogance, but rather one that says, I am not afraid to put my life out there for others to see and ultimately to judge.  I am going to be me, and I am going to welcome people into my life and let them see it.

I am a person that responds to accountability to others and tends to put personal wants on a backburner, so I am creating accountability.  I am taking everyone on this journey and holding myself accountable to al of you.

Watch this means, that I am not going to hide who I am or be afraid to develop things that are 100% me.  I am not going to make someone else’s dream happen while mine sit on the back burner.  I am going to do both!  I am going to help others and myself.  It is time to take that step.

Write a book…#watchThis

Start a business…#watchThis

Complete the Spartan Trifecta…#watchThis

Get Stronger….#WatchThis

Eat Better…#WatchThis

Share my Struggles…#WatchThis

That journey is about to begin…all you have to do is sit back and #WatchThis