Big Rocks…Balls…Your Purpose…Part II

Alright, I admit it, I am a day late.  I even put in a post a couple days ago that had nothing to do with all the balls and tasks that I left you holding in part I.  If you have not read part I…please do.

Done?  Good, let’s wrap this up.

So here you are holding all the balls that make up who you are.  It might be in a relationship, family, or work.  It might be all the roles you see yourself fulfilling on a daily basis.  I cannot say for certain how you chose to do the exercise in part I, but I know that physically or mentally you have come to the conclusion that you are holding a lot of roles.

You do a lot!  Take a minute to take that in.  You have a lot of value and purpose and when we slow down we can recognize that…hopefully.  If you are only holding one or two balls, then you did not think hard enough.

The purpose of this exercise though is not to show you how much you do.  You know that you do a lot.  You never needed me to tell you that.  So what is the purpose?

The purpose is for you to recognize that holding the balls is not enough!

That’s it.  I want you to look in your arms and see all the different types of balls that you are holding.  I want you to look at them and tell me, are you able to use them as they are intended?  If you have a football can you throw it long, kick a field goal?  Could you tee up that golf ball and then a club and swing it?  What about dribble the basketball?  Could you swing a bat at the baseball, even if I put it on a tee for you?

I am guessing that you probably couldn’t.  I am guessing that if you tried to use the ball as it’s intended one of two things has to happen…you either absolutely suck at it because you won’t put anything else down, or you are going to lose some of the balls as your focus shifts and you try to accomplish the task.

So…what’s the point?

Stop trying to be everything at once and hold everything at once!  You suck at it!  You were not made to do it all at once.  You were not made to keep plates spinning or holding everything in your arms.  You have to learn to put it down, accomplish the task and then pick up something else.

I watch as people fight over who has what job in relationships and people burn out of jobs because they believe that they have to do everything and that putting the ball down is a sign of weakness.  If putting a ball or two down allows you to be a better partner, parent, business owner, employee, then put it down for a little bit.  Get done what has to be done.  Then pick it back up.

Do what you can to master the tasks and each role.  The next thing you know, you might just be spinning a basketball on one finger while driving that golf ball with the other arm.  And there in the corner sits the football…you have your name on it…but you don’t have to hold it.  Put down some of the burdens…it’s ok!

Big Rocks…Balls…Your Purpose

I am sure many of you have seen the following video or seen the demonstration in some shape, form, or fashion.  We all understand that concept of priorities and “Big Rocks”.

We all know that in order for us to be successful and have time to accomplish all that we need to, we have to put first things first and let all the smaller things in our lives fill in the gaps.  We cannot start with the foundation of things that are less meaningful and hope that there is room for the important things.  When we mess up priorities, we create stress, strife and chaos.  We lash out at others and shift blame.  We, as people, generally suck at looking in the mirror and admitting that the reason we are in the position we are in is because of decisions we made…not someone else.

As I have ventured through the past couple of years, I am reminded of the big rocks.  As this new year started, I found myself trying to regain focus on the big rocks and had to remove some of the other rocks.  If I were to add anything to the big rocks discussion it would begin with the following.  I will probably break this down into a couple parts…I might even make a video for this little tidbit of wisdom.

12549081_10153502739589022_6686032684750953236_n

I want everyone for a minute to put the rocks in the jar and walk away from them.  I want you instead to think about sports for a minute.  I want you to go around your house and find as many balls as you can.  they can be big or small.  Find a basketball, a baseball, a golf ball, a football…you get the idea.  But you need a lot of them.  You need one ball for every role you fill in life.  If you want to make it easy and still get a general idea, find enough balls to fulfill the roles that you have just within your family or just within your profession.  You have to be specific in what you do.

For me, it might look something like this:

  • husband
  • father
  • to school driver
  • bedtime sensei
  • gymnastic coach/ driver
  • dinner maker
  • co-counselor
  • etc.
  • Trainer
  • Dog Feeder

Think about all that you really do.  The first step with this is to simply assign each task with a ball.  I know you saw that coming.  For every role you hold, you have to have a ball assigned to it.  The ball type does not matter.  This challenge is not about making sure the bigger balls go with the more important roles.  In fact, the variety is key.  In fact, if you are breaking down a role, you already understand that you are working within the confines of a big rock!  (Let that sink in for a minute).

Don’t worry, I am not going to ask you to juggle them.  I just want you to pick them all up and hold them.  That’s it.  You just have to hold them in your arms.  Figure it out.  You already do it on a daily basis.  Let’s just make it a little more tangible.

Now that you are holding all of them…just keep them there until Wednesday when we will wrap up our little experiment.

How Will You Succeed?

FullSizeRender 2

 

In the last post, I shared about how “what-if” never enters the arena, so I hope you are taking the steps necessary to step into the arena and face some demons, slay some dragons, fight?

I hope that you are not staying out in the world of what-ifs that someday become might have been’s and eventually regrets.  If the only thing that is holding you back from taking on a new challenge is the ever-present scary question of:

How will I succeed?

Then let’s find an answer together.  I get it, we are a society that is built upon the idea that if we try something we have to be able to guarantee our own success.  If we are going to do something, we have to know deep down that we WILL be successful.   It’s why we start our to-do lists with items that we have already accomplished for the day.

  • Get Out of Bed
  • Drink Coffee
  • Feed Kids

They are there already.  We set ourselves up to succeed or, at least, have something on the list that we can cross off before we have really done anything.  I do not know what huge task is out there looming on the horizon for you, but I can bet with relative certainty that your definition of success is grand.  Your definition of success probably has huge dollar signs or changes to humanity…or maybe that is just me.  I can accept that.

But if you truly want to guarantee your success, you just have to keep caring, keep moving, keep pushing, and keep learning.  If you, as an individual, are no longer growing and learning, then you are failing.  Your business could be thriving, your deadlift could continue to get bigger and bigger, but are you really succeeding?  Do you even care anymore?

For me, that is where success comes from.  I will continue to write these posts, film my tips and tricks in business and the gym, function as a personal trainer, do it all until I just don’t care anymore.  If I ever get to the point where it doesn’t bother me that I only got one post up this week.  If I ever get to the point where I celebrate my clients failure to show up to train with me, I will shut down the site…close the garage and be done.  How do we guarantee success is

How do we guarantee success in our endeavors, we constantly care about them.  We invest in them.  We find fulfillment in the small steps, not solely based on the end target.  We find that success is the continual investment in the process to become something more.  Success is every moment you say “yes” to your dream and to caring about it.

And sometimes success is accepting the stepbacks and failures that come, but learning from them and coming back stronger.  It might mean a PR is missed or the business doors close for a little while, but we don’t stop.  The scale and BMI might go up, but we show up again the next day, ready to go!  We don’t stop.

Success is the journey…and we guarantee that success, but accepting the detours, making our own paths sometimes, accepting that we might be lost, not know where we are going, and all alone at times, but we keep going.